Feminist to Homemaker

While I don't blame my unhappiness on the Feminist Movement, I came across this image and have to wonder what's its all about. 

   My college years were probably the most lonely and depressing years of my life. These were also the years I called myself a feminist, among other things. I tried so hard to appear 'in control', 'together', 'successful'. Ugh. 

    I thought I had it all together; good grades, always ready for frivolous speculation, a true postmodern "womyn".

   I was certainly too smart, too sophisticated to ever be the kind of woman who took delight in serving her husband and family. 

   This mask covered the truth very poorly, and anyone who spent more than a few moments with me must have seen a very disheveled and disoriented woman behind it. 

   And then I fell in love and got "married" (more on this later).

   But even though I had such a great guy, I still held firm ideas about an "equal" relationship, which to me meant 50/50 sharing of household duties and about everything else.

   I measured, nit-picked, complained, and expected my modern man to be a feminist right along side me. 

   When we were blessed with our first child shortly into our marriage, it became increasingly obvious that woman and men ARE different with naturally different roles.  

   I carried our baby in my womb. As I got heavier and more tired, I stuck around home and prepared it for our babes arrival. When our son was born, I nursed him and spent all of my time with him. It felt right. 

   God was watching, and faithfully guided me towards His will for me.


   He directed me towards scripture that outlines biblical womanhood and motherhood. Wow, had I missed the mark. God wasn't calling me to be on the look-out to make sure that everything in my marriage was 'equal'. It wasn't my job to make sure DH did just as much housekeeping work as I did in the name of equality. 

 He had made my husband and I different for a reason, and maybe, just maybe, there was a harmony He intended to blossom when I pursue the beautiful uniqueness of a woman's role while DH pursed God's call on him. 

  I'm embarrassed at my selfishness and complete lack of understanding of God's plan for womanhood, wifehood, and motherhood. But God is in the business of turning chaos into order, bringing light where there's only the confusion of darkness. 

   As God has patiently pointed the way, a sense of rightness has been growing and growing. 

   I have a LONG way to go, so its a good thing I have such a wonderful husband and determined, loving God! 

   God has guided me to an in-depth study of Proverbs 31:10-31 as well as Titus 2 and 1 Peter 3. I ask Him to make my heart plain and open before His words. I'll be posting updates as I go along this journey from feminist to homemaker. 

Trusting and seeking.